10 Things I Hate About Me
Anchoring: Remember Who You Are
I woke up today in what I can only describe as fire energy.
Rampaging through things. Listening to stories people were sharing and feeling this overwhelming sense of…I am so over it. Over the stuckness. Over the performance of helplessness. Over watching people choose comfort over their own lives.
And then I caught myself.
Because everything is a mirror. And if I’m that activated by stuckness, if watching other people stay small is lighting me up like that…then I have to ask myself what is this reflecting back to me?
The answer came quick. I’ve been telling myself I’m stuck. Not because it’s true. But because the path forward hasn’t been fully visible yet. And somewhere in that in-between, I let the story creep in.
The difference between feeling stuck and being stuck is everything. Feeling stuck is information. Being stuck is a choice. And I wasn’t making that choice…I just forgot that for a minute.
That’s what this piece is about. That moment of forgetting. And the return.
Because that return, that catching yourself, that redirecting, that’s not a small thing. That’s the whole thing.
That’s anchoring.
Integration is where most people get lost.
Not because the work gets harder. Because the noise gets louder. Right before things settle, everything in you wants to convince you that it won’t. That you’ve come this far and it still isn’t enough. That maybe you were wrong about yourself all along.
I came into this phase discouraged. Tired. Carrying a string of no’s and conversations that lit me up and then went quiet. That terrifying question sitting underneath all of it….what if I’m not actually capable of this?
But somewhere in the middle of all that noise, I caught myself reaching outside for something. And I redirected.
I didn’t figure everything out. I just remembered something.
And that’s what anchoring actually is. Not arriving somewhere solid and staying. Returning to yourself. Over and over again. Even when the doubt gets loud. Even after a hard stretch. Even when “never” feels like a prophecy instead of a lie.
Here’s what nobody tells you about the moment after the breakthrough.
People leave healing spaces lit up. They feel it…that electricity, that expansion, that sense of finally. And they don’t realize that feeling is the preview. Not the transformation. The real work is what happens on a Tuesday morning when the feeling fades and life comes back in. When the dishes are still there and the bank account looks the same and the high has worn off.
That’s where most people stop. That’s where anchoring begins.
Because the Tuesday morning isn’t the problem. The story you tell about it is. Limitation was never the circumstance…it was always the story about the circumstance. And the story lives in you, which means you’re also the one who gets to change it.
And a lot of that story was never even yours to begin with. Your value doesn’t increase or decrease based on what you do or don’t do. That programming runs deep. Most of us have spent our entire lives performing for a measuring stick that was never even ours to begin wtih. And truthfully, the only reason I ever felt like I failed at anything is because I was always doing it for someone else.
When the measuring stick isn’t yours, you stop feeling your own feelings and start managing them instead. Suppression is the root of depression…not the feeling itself. We were never taught that. We were taught to manage, to minimize, to move on. And so we stay busy, because staying busy is how we avoid sitting with ourselves long enough to hear what we actually want.
But the real way out is by going within.
The stillness, the rest, the crawling back into bed after a big weekend…that guilt is borrowed. It was never yours. Stillness is not laziness. It’s where the clarity lives. It’s what actually helps you move forward when you finally get quiet enough to hear yourself.
I don’t know why this movie came to my mind the other night. 10 Things I Hate About You. That scene where she’s standing there, crying, reciting everything she hates about him…and you realize halfway through that every single thing she’s naming is actually why she loves him. The things she judged. The things that undid her. All of it…love in disguise.
I thought about that. And then I turned it inward.
Because every single thing in this poem, I’ve known about myself my whole life. And I spent years hating those parts. Suppressing them. Being taught, directly and indirectly, that they were too much. That I was too much.
The things we were told to shrink are usually the most alive parts of us.
So I wrote this for myself. And I’m sharing it because maybe you’ll recognize yourself in it too.
10 Things I Hate About Me
I hate the way I see people for who they really are. Not for who they pretend to be.
I hate the way I feel everything so deeply.
I hate the way I’m always a mess.
I hate the way I feel so different and think I’m alone.
I hate the way I see the magic in the universe and the power of God.
I hate the way I love. Because I always overgive and break my own heart every time.
I hate that I’m not surface level. And that I don’t know how to be.
I hate that I feel unworthy of everything I deserve and desire.
I hate the way I feel energy before anything else. Because it makes me seem crazy.
I hate the way I show up looking like I’ve just cried.
But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate me. Not even close. Not even a little bit. Not even at all.
Never let anyone write you off.
Especially you.
Because the most important stories we tell, are the ones we tell ourselves. And “never” is the loudest lie…the one that sounds most like truth when you’re exhausted.
I’m not here to follow someone else’s footsteps. I’m here to blaze my own path. And I’ve spent years calling myself crazy and delusional for knowing that.
I refuse to believe my best moments are behind me. I’ve never had the health, the wealth, the love all at the same time. But this time is different…because I know it’s possible. I know it’s already mine.
Here’s what I know about God (or source, creator, the universe or whatever entity you identify with). God will show you what’s possible if you allow yourself to receive it. But when you ask for something big…when you ask for all of it…the first thing God does is strip away everything that no longer serves you. And that’s terrifying. And we’re all afraid of that. Because that’s usually where our comfort zone lives. We call it loss. We call it failure. We call it proof that it’s not working. When really…it’s the answer to the prayer.
God wouldn’t have shown me a love worth having if it was impossible. God wouldn’t have let me feel what wealth feels like if it wasn’t meant for me. I would not have felt the full vitality of life if it wasn’t already living inside of me.
I know what's possible because I've already touched it. And that's exactly why I can't stay quiet about the cost of playing it safe.
The cost of staying safe is the life you’re actually living right now.
People conform and settle and wait for life to just run out the clock. They don’t love hard. They don’t feel things. And I understand why…feeling deeply is terrifying. It’s risky. It means you might look a certain way. It means people might talk. It means taking the courageous step without knowing how it lands.
But the people who never take that step don’t get to have what I’ve had. This isn’t just about love. It’s about the career you didn’t pursue because it felt too risky. The business you didn’t start because you were afraid of what people would think. The life you put on hold waiting for the right moment that never came. Numbness doesn’t just cost you feeling…it costs you everything you could have built.
Through all the turbulence, through getting hurt, through the mess…at least I get to feel something. At least I get to live. To the fullest.
Excited and frightened. Both true. Both allowed.
And I would choose me again in every lifetime.
What I’ve learned through this journey, through this evolution of mine…I’ve found my gift and my purpose.
My gift is to help others see their gift. To help them realize what theirs is, by bringing their unconscious patterns into their conscious mind. So they can stop living someone else’s story and start blazing their own path.
That’s the work. That’s what anchoring makes possible.
If this landed for you…if you recognized yourself somewhere in here…I have something for you.
You didn’t come this far to settle into someone else’s life.
Come home to yours.
[Remember Who You Are Journal] Note: the journal link will come through Kit (formerly ConvertKit). If you don’t see it in your inbox, check your spam or promotions folder.
About This Work — And This Series
This piece is the fifth and final stage of a framework I’ve built from my own evolution.
It began with Awareness…the moment you realize something has to change. It moved into Acceptance…making peace with where you are and how you got here. Then Alignment…getting honest about what you actually want. Then Ascension…the shift in frequency that happens when you start living from that truth. And now Anchoring…the return. Over and over again. Coming home to yourself even after the noise gets loud.
This isn’t a linear journey. It’s a cycle. You’ll move through these stages more than once. That’s not failure. That’s how evolution actually works.
Everything I’ve written in this series points to one truth: you already have everything you need. It lives inside you. The work isn’t about finding something you lost…it’s about deprogramming the belief that you ever needed to look outside yourself in the first place.
You can do this work on your own. This journal is a place to start.
But if you’ve been in your head for a long time, if the patterns feel invisible, if you keep arriving at the same walls and don’t know why…that’s not a sign anything is wrong. That’s a sign the conditioning runs deep. And sometimes you need someone to help you see what you can’t see from inside it.
That’s what I do.
In our work together, the very first thing we do is slow down. Come back into your body. Learn to be still long enough to actually hear yourself. Most people have their first breakthrough before the first call even ends…not because I gave them an answer, but because they finally gave themselves permission to stop running.
If you feel ready to stop running — I’d love to be your guide.
Book an aligment call here.